200+ Text Message Jokes to Make Your Day Brighter

It’s amazing how a random message can shift your mood in a single moment. Whether stuck in traffic or pausing for a short break at work, a clever, snappy one-liner pops up on your phone, and suddenly, the day feels lighter. That’s the beauty of Text Message Jokes – they’re simple, short, and easy to share. No setup needed, just a quick hit of laughter that leaves you smiling.

Over time, I began collecting the most funny, bite-sized lines that seem to always land. Be it a twisty riddle, a simple pun, or a heartfelt quip they all aim to entertain, spark joy, and build connection. These texts do more than earn a giggle or loud laugh they remind us of the heart behind a friend’s sweet note, the tiny ways we care. Through those exchanges, even the smallest message can build lasting connections and gently remind us to smile a little more.

One Liner Text Message Jokes

One-liners are short, sharp, and sure to make you smile! These text message jokes are perfect when you want a quick laugh without typing too much. Whether you’re cheering someone up or just being playful, one-liners get the job done fast. Scroll through and grab your favorites to brighten someone’s screen today!

• I’m on a seafood diet-I see food and I eat it! 🐟
• Parallel lines have so much in common… it’s a shame they’ll never meet! 📏
• I told my computer I needed a break, and it said “No problem!” 💻
• I asked the gym if they could train my WiFi. It’s weak! 📶
• I would tell you a construction joke, but I’m still working on it! 🚧
• I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure. 🤔
• I told my plants I love them. They’re rooting for me! 🌱
• I named my dog “Five Miles” so I can say I walk Five Miles every day! 🐕
• I tried to catch some fog… I mist! 🌫️
• I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y. 🔤
• I got hit on the head with a can of soda. Luckily, it was a soft drink! 🥤
• I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands! 🎹
• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went… then it dawned on me! 🌅
• I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless! ✏️
• I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised! 😲
• I started reading anti-gravity books. I can’t put them down! 📚
• I know they say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye! 💸
• I’m not lazy-I’m on energy-saving mode! 🛋️
• My math teacher called me average. How mean! ➗
• I broke my finger last week. On the other hand, I’m okay! ✋

Q&A Text Message Jokes

Q&A jokes are a classic for a reason. Perfect for texting, these jokes set up a question and follow with a clever or silly punchline.

• Q: Why did the scarecrow win an award?
  A: Because he was outstanding in his field! 🌾
• Q: What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
  A: Nacho cheese! 🧀
• Q: Why did the bicycle fall over?
  A: It was two-tired! 🚲
• Q: What do you call fake spaghetti?
  A: An impasta! 🍝
• Q: Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
  A: They don’t have the guts! 💀
• Q: What did the ocean say to the beach?
  A: Nothing, it just waved! 🌊
• Q: Why did the tomato turn red?
  A: Because it saw the salad dressing! 🍅
• Q: What’s brown and sticky?
  A: A stick! 🌳
• Q: How do you make holy water?
  A: You boil the hell out of it! 🔥
• Q: Why did the golfer bring two pants?
  A: In case he got a hole in one! ⛳
• Q: Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?
  A: Because then it would be a foot! 👃
• Q: Why did the math book look sad?
  A: Too many problems! 📘
• Q: What do you call a belt made of watches?
  A: A waist of time! ⌚
• Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
  A: Spoiled milk! 🐄
• Q: What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?
  A: Sneakers! 👟
• Q: How do you organize a space party?
  A: You planet! 🪐
• Q: Why did the chicken join a band?
  A: Because it had drumsticks! 🥁
• Q: How does the moon cut his hair?
  A: Eclipse it! 🌝
• Q: Why don’t eggs tell each other secrets?
  A: They might crack up! 🥚
• Q: What do elves learn in school?
  A: The elf-abet! 🧝

Funny Text Message Jokes

Everyone loves a good laugh, and these funny text message jokes are made to bring out the giggles. They’re light, lovable, and just weird enough to surprise your contacts in the best way. Perfect for starting a convo or lightening up someone’s day, these jokes are great for both one-on-one texts or group chats.

• I told my phone a joke… it cracked up! 📱😂
• My calendar is full of bad puns. It’s a pun-ishment! 🗓️
• My pet rock is better at socializing than I am! 🪨
• I opened a bakery. The breadwinner of the family! 🍞
• I tried to write a joke about a broken pencil… but it was pointless! ✏️
• Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth! 😁
• I asked Alexa to tell me a joke. She replied, “You are one.” 🤖
• I had a joke about pizza, but it’s a little cheesy. 🍕
• Coffee makes me human. Or at least bearable. ☕
• I told Siri a joke and she sent me to voicemail. 📞
• My Wi-Fi is strong, but my will to work is weak! 💻
• I named my phone “Titanic” so I can say it’s syncing! 📲
• If Monday had a face, I’d punch it with a nap! 😴
• My fridge just broke. Now it’s a cool story, bro. 🧊
• My phone battery lasts longer than most relationships! 🔋
• I gave up jogging for texting. My thumbs are fit! 💪
• I love long romantic walks… to the fridge. 🧀
• I made a text group for my socks. It’s called Sole Mates! 🧦
• I’m not clumsy. The floor just hates me! 🤕
• My phone screen has more fingerprints than a crime scene! 🕵️

Short Text Message Jokes

Need something quick and hilarious? These short text message jokes are just what your inbox ordered. No long setups, no backstories-just fast, funny lines you can drop into any chat for instant chuckles. They’re perfect for people on the go, or those moments when you only have a second to text. Whether it’s a wake-up laugh or a bedtime smile, these short jokes do the trick in less than 10 words. Tiny jokes, big laughs!

• Fries before guys! 🍟
• I donut care! 🍩
• Nacho average friend. 🧀
• Ice cream, you scream! 🍦
• I lava you! 🌋
• Shell yeah! 🐚
• Let’s taco ‘bout it! 🌮
• Brie mine! 🧀
• You guac my world! 🥑
• Sip happens! 🍷
• Moo point-like a cow’s opinion. 🐄
• Peas out! ✌️
• I’m pawsitive you’re purrfect! 🐾
• Gourd vibes only! 🎃
• Berry funny! 🍓
• I’m soy into you! 🥢
• Bee happy! 🐝
• Just chillin’. ❄️
• Egg-cellent! 🥚
• No prob-llama! 🦙

Clever Text Message Jokes

Clever jokes are the best kind of brain ticklers. These clever text message jokes combine wit and wordplay to create a unique type of humor that makes your friends say, “Ooooh, that’s smart!” Perfect for impressing that pun-loving buddy or brightening up a dull convo, these jokes are made for minds that like to giggle and think.

• I asked a linguist for help… but they said I’m tense. 🧠
• I failed math but aced sarcasm! 📊
• I once dated a graph. We had great chemistry. 📉
• I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down! 📚
• The rotation of the Earth really makes my day! 🌍
• I’d tell you a joke about time travel, but you didn’t like it. ⏳
• I’m punstoppable! 💬
• My neurons fired… but they missed. 🧬
• Grammar jokes are the write stuff. ✍️
• My jokes are like atoms-make up everything! ⚛️
• I’m very pun-civilized. 🧠
• Pi is irrational… and so am I! 🥧
• Don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something. 🪜
• I used to be a baker. I couldn’t make enough dough! 🍞
• I overthink. Therefore, I pun. 🤯
• Without geometry, life is pointless! 🔺
• I’m in a complicated relationship with autocorrect. 🧷
• I asked my phone for a clever pun-it couldn’t handle me! 📱
• Intelligence is sexy. So are good puns! 🤓
• I’m fluent in emoji, sarcasm, and typo. 🔠

Knock Knock Text Message Jokes

There’s something timelessly funny about a good ol’ knock knock text message joke!

• Knock knock.
  Who’s there?
  Alpaca.
  Alpaca who?
  Alpaca the suitcase! 🧳
• Knock knock.
  Who’s there?
  Lettuce.
  Lettuce who?
  Lettuce in, it’s cold! 🥬
• Knock knock.
  Who’s there?
  Boo.
  Boo who?
  Don’t cry, it’s just a joke! 😢
• Knock knock.
  Who’s there?
  Cow says.
  Cow says who?
  No, cow says mooo! 🐄
• Knock knock.
  Who’s there?
  Dishes.
  Dishes who?
  Dishes the police! 🚔
• Knock knock.
  Who’s there?
  Tank.
  Tank who?
  You’re welcome! 🫡
• Knock knock.
  Who’s there?
  Ya.
  Ya who?
  No thanks, I prefer Google! 🤖
• Knock knock.
  Who’s there?
  Ice cream.
  Ice cream who?
  Ice cream every time I see a spider! 🕷️
• Knock knock.
  Who’s there?
  Doughnut.
  Doughnut who?
  Doughnut forget to laugh! 🍩
• Knock knock.
  Who’s there?
  Atch.
  Atch who?
  Bless you! 🤧
• Knock knock.
  Who’s there?
  Nunya.
  Nunya who?
  Nunya business! 😏
• Knock knock.
  Who’s there?
  Orange.
  Orange who?
  Orange you gonna answer? 🍊
• Knock knock.
  Who’s there?
  Harry.
  Harry who?
  Harry up and answer! ⏰
• Knock knock.
  Who’s there?
  Olive.
  Olive who?
  Olive you! 🫒
• Knock knock.
  Who’s there?
  Broken pencil.
  Broken pencil who?
  Never mind-it’s pointless! ✏️
• Knock knock.
  Who’s there?
  Boo hoo.
  Boo hoo who?
  Don’t cry-it’s just me! 😭
• Knock knock.
  Who’s there?
  Butter.
  Butter who?
  Butter let me in! 🧈
• Knock knock.
  Who’s there?
  Peas.
  Peas who?
  Peas give me another joke! 🟢
• Knock knock.
  Who’s there?
  Icy.
  Icy who?
  Icy you laughing! ❄️
• Knock knock.
  Who’s there?
  Beak.
  Beak who?
  Beak-careful, I’m hilarious! 🐥

Dad Jokes for Text Messages

Dad jokes are the kings of cringe-and we love them for it. These dad jokes for text messages are clean, corny, and completely hilarious when sent at the right moment. Whether you’re texting your own dad or being that dad in the group chat, these groan-worthy jokes are guaranteed to get some laughs (or eye-rolls).

• I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y. 🔠
• What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta! 🍝
• I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it! 🐟
• Why don’t skeletons fight? They don’t have the guts! ☠️
• What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese! 🧀
• I used to hate facial hair… but then it grew on me. 🧔
• What do you call a factory that makes good products? A satisfactory. 🏭
• Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field! 🌾
• Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up! 🥚
• Want to hear a construction joke? I’m still working on it. 🚧
• I got a job at the bakery because I kneaded dough! 🍞
• My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward. 🏃
• I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro. It’s a total rip-off! 🎒
• Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I’m not going to spread it! 🧈
• Why did the golfer bring two pants? In case he got a hole in one! ⛳
• I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised. 😲
• I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I’ll let you know. 🐣
• Why did the orange stop? It ran out of juice! 🍊
• I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something! 🪜
• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me. 🌅

Puns in Text Message Jokes

Love puns? You’re in for a treat! These pun text message jokes are witty, weird, and guaranteed to make you grin. Puns are like the Swiss army knives of humor-they’re flexible, funny, and always ready to be pulled out in any conversation. Get your thumbs ready for some seriously silly wordplay that’s perfect for sharing.

• I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down! 📖
• I’d tell you a pun about paper, but it’s tearable. 📄
• I stayed up all night to figure out where the sun went. Then it dawned on me! 🌅
• I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough. 🥖
• Don’t trust atoms. They make up everything! ⚛️
• I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands. 🎹
• I named my dog “Five Miles” so I can say I walk Five Miles every day! 🐕
• You butter believe it! 🧈
• I’m nuts about you! 🥜
• You make miso happy! 🍲
• That’s how I roll-like sushi! 🍣
• You’re one in a melon! 🍉
• Olive you so much! 🫒
• My puns are koalaty! 🐨
• Let’s taco ‘bout it! 🌮
• I whale always love you! 🐋
• It’s nacho problem! 🧀
• You’re the zest! 🍋
• I can’t espresso how much you bean to me! ☕
• You’re shrimply the best! 🍤

Text Message Jokes for Friends

Friends make everything better-including text message jokes! Whether you’re looking to lift their mood, start a convo, or simply share a giggle, these jokes are perfect for texting your besties. The beauty of funny text banter is how simple yet thoughtful it can be.

• You’re my favorite notification. 📲
• You’re the reason my phone is always on loud! 🔊
• We go together like WiFi and signal! 📶
• Just sending this to say… LOL! 😆
• You text better than you talk. 😜
• If you were a text, you’d be 100% delivered happiness! 🎯
• Our chat is the only thing keeping my phone alive. 🔋
• Don’t go bacon my heart… oh wait, wrong friend! 🥓
• You autocorrect my life! ✍️
• Just a text to say… you’re eggcellent! 🥚
• This message is powered by caffeine and sarcasm. ☕
• Are you Wi-Fi? Because I’m feeling connected. 💞
• Text me if you’re bored… or don’t, I’ll text first anyway. 📩
• You’re my kind of weird. 👽
• Can’t spell “friend” without “end”… but we’re not ending. 😎
• If you read this, you owe me a snack. 🍪
• This joke is sponsored by our endless inside jokes! 🤪
• If texts had calories, we’d both be full! 🍕
• Just a friendly LOL to keep your day light. 🌞
• You’re my LOL buddy for life! 🫶

Text Message Jokes for Kids

Need a giggle that’s kid-friendly and safe to text? These text message jokes for kids are light-hearted, fun, and totally clean. They’re perfect for kids learning how to use phones or for parents sending a surprise laugh in their child’s day.

• What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear! 🐻
• Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well! 🍌
• How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it! 🕺
• What do you call a dinosaur with bad vision? Do-you-think-he-saurus! 🦖
• What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot! 🥕
• Why did the teddy bear skip dinner? He was stuffed! 🧸
• Why are ghosts bad at lying? You can see right through them! 👻
• What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree! 🌴
• What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer! 🐂
• Why did the math book look sad? Too many problems! 📚
• What did the cow say to the chicken? Move over! 🐄
• Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it’d be a foot! 👃
• What gets wetter the more it dries? A towel! 🧼
• What’s brown and sticky? A stick! 🪵
• Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They might crack up! 🥚
• What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved! 🌊
• Why do fish live in saltwater? Because pepper makes them sneeze! 🐠
• What animal needs to wear a wig? A bald eagle! 🦅
• Why did the cat sit on the computer? To keep an eye on the mouse! 🐭
• How do cows text? With mooo-bile phones! 📱

Witty Text Message Jokes

Want to come off clever and cool? These witty text message jokes deliver a perfect blend of sarcasm, intelligence, and dry humor. They’re ideal for impressing someone in a group chat or leaving a smart one-liner in your friend’s inbox. Use these if you love your humor with a side of sass.

• Sarcasm is my cardio. 🏋️
• I speak fluent emoji and mild judgment. 🙄
• I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode. 🔌
• I came, I saw, I made it awkward. 😬
• I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right. 📚
• Running on caffeine and ambition. ☕
• I’m 99% witty, 1% battery. 🔋
• WiFi strong, will to work weak. 📡
• I put the ‘pro’ in procrastinate. ⏳
• My brain has too many tabs open. 🧠
• Texting you because I’m avoiding my responsibilities. 😅
• If I were any wittier, I’d charge for responses. 💸
• Still waiting for my Nobel Prize in sarcasm. 🏆
• My schedule is flexible… if doing nothing counts. 📅
• You’re welcome for this dose of brilliance. 💡
• Current status: thinking faster than I type. ⌨️
• Not texting, just typing epic thoughts. 🧐
• In a world full of LOLs, be an AHA. 🤯
• I don’t chase people-I text and wait. 🧘
• Humor is my love language. 💬

Silly Text Message Jokes

Sometimes, all we need is a dose of silly humor to brighten our day! These silly text message jokes are totally ridiculous, wildly random, and perfect when you just want to laugh at something stupid (in the best way). Dive into the nonsense and embrace the fun!

• I just burned 2,000 calories… I left my pizza in the oven. 🍕
• Can’t adult today. I’m out of clean thoughts. 🧼
• I asked Siri to make me laugh. She called my bank account. 💸
• I put the “elusive” in “delusion.” 😵‍💫
• I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong. 😂
• My phone autocorrects “love” to “lasagna.” 🍝
• Don’t trust atoms-they make up everything! ⚛️
• If Monday had a face, I’d punch it. 👊
• I tried to be normal once. Worst 2 minutes ever. ⏱️
• I didn’t fall-I was just checking gravity. 🪂
• Zombies eat brains. You’re safe. 🧟
• I text better when I’m hungry. 🍔
• Send help-I laughed so hard I snorted! 🐷
• That awkward moment when your joke gets no LOL. 🫠
• I’m not short-I’m concentrated awesome. 💥
• I write jokes to avoid actual work. 🧾
• Don’t mind me, I’m just vibing weird today. 🎶
• Brb, chasing butterflies in my brain. 🦋
• You ever laugh so hard you forget what was funny? 🙃
• I’m silly, not stupid. There’s a difference… I think. 🤔

Seasonal Text Message Jokes

Every season brings its own vibe-and its own perfect seasonal text message jokes! Whether it’s sunny summer laughs, autumn puns, winter giggles, or spring zingers, these jokes match the mood of the calendar. Use them to keep your texts timely, relevant, and filled with holiday cheer or seasonal silliness.

• I’m falling for fall jokes! 🍁
• Ice to meet you! ❄️
• You sleigh me, Santa! 🎅
• Spring into a good mood! 🌸
• I’m a-maize-d by how corny fall can get. 🌽
• Chill out-it’s just snow! ⛄
• Boo! Did I text you too soon? 👻
• Cupid called. He wants his LOLs back. 💘
• Santa saw your texts. You’re on the LOL list! 📝
• Bloom where you’re planted-and laugh often! 🌼
• Texting my way through sweater weather. 🧥
• This summer heat is no joke-but I am! 🔥
• Don’t leaf me hanging without a pun! 🍃
• I’m here for pumpkin spice and punchlines. 🎃
• Let it snow… and send more jokes! ❄️
• Text like it’s spring break! 🏖️
• New year, same silly me! 🎉
• Gobble gobble-here’s a text for your turkey day! 🦃
• Flowers blooming and jokes booming! 🌷
• Beach, please… I came to laugh! 🏝️

Final Thoughts

Laughter truly is the best text message you can send. With over 200+ hilarious, clever, silly, and pun-filled text message jokes, you’re now equipped to make someone’s day a little brighter-no matter where they are or what mood they’re in. Whether you’re texting your best friend, a child, or even your boss (carefully!), humor can cut through stress and bring instant joy.

What makes text message jokes so special is their simplicity. In just a few words, you can deliver a burst of cheer that leaves a smile on someone’s face long after they’ve read it. These aren’t just laughs-they’re little digital hugs, reminders that someone thought of you, and moments of shared fun that build stronger connections.

FAQs

What are good text message jokes to send a friend?

Text message jokes for friends should be light, funny, and easy to understand. Use inside jokes, friendly sarcasm, or puns like “You autocorrect my life!” or “WiFi strong, will to work weak.” These keep the tone casual, positive, and relatable.

Are text message jokes suitable for kids?

Yes! Text message jokes for kids should be clean, simple, and silly. Try ones like “Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well!” These jokes are perfect for younger audiences and totally safe to send.

Can I use these jokes in group chats?

Absolutely! These text jokes work great in group chats. They’re perfect for breaking the ice, creating inside jokes, or just making everyone laugh. Choose jokes that suit the vibe-silly, clever, or seasonal-for the best results.

What are clever text message jokes?

Clever jokes are witty, smart, and unexpected. For example: “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.” These show off your sense of humor in a confident way without trying too hard-great for friends, dates, or even coworkers.

How often should I send funny text jokes?

You can send text message jokes as often as it feels natural. Once a day or a few times a week is usually fun without being too much. Keep it casual and based on the conversation flow to avoid overdoing it.